Should we be selfish? Regardless if we are single, married, with or without children? Or no?

I just am enjoying my new family and I love the energy and advice!! I agree with so many women that relationships are hard! I’ve been in one on and off for 10 years and it has its issues but I’m just trying to be great! Hopefully I can spiritually build self and decide on my next move

I totally agree but what about in the sake of your partner being selfish and setting boundaries Which is healthy right but when the boundaries disrespect the relationship what do you do ? For example my fiancé says he loves me and only wants me but he loves to take trips out of town alone . Claiming he needs space and has a lock on his phone and recently lied about hanging with friends because he needed space and really went to be with a woman and had unprotected sex and I found out from the woman and he claims I was neglecting him and he promises moving forward it won’t happen as long as I’m loving him and not invading his space and smothering him . He’s a good man to me , does what I ask , loves me shows me affection , buys gifts , checks on me from work , helps with our kids , financial support , he just had this dishonesty and interest in other woman and I never know about it until I look ? Is it me I don’t trust him or his word but I love hi deeply and when I find out something I damage his things and threaten to put him out the house and he says he’s tired of that and that’s why he talks to other woman to not be judged

Ohhh this is a doozy for me. I now know how important it is to be a little selfish. What I will say though is, I found that revelation after I was already married. Therefore, it was harder for my spouse to understand and respect this newfound selfishness. It was necessary for me to stay steadfast in it because I recognize that we give others the blueprint on how we want to be treated. If you are always putting yourself last and rearranging things for others to be accommodated. It’s our fault that others don’t value our time. Shit, we showing them our time isn’t valuable, our desires are passive and the goals we want can be shelved to help satisfy their bigger picture. There is no trophy for the person who can dial back their light the best. Now with that being said, it’s definitely a balance that I have to find because my King will know he’s a priority. I often have to use the chess analogy of the queen being the strongest peace on the board. So if I’m not full and focused the game will end quickly. So I have to be selfish a little to strengthen myself.

Yess queen! I completely agree! I’m going through this right now after a year long toxic ass relationship hella weight gain hair fell out just a stressful environment I got the courage to leave finally and I’ve been feeling sooooo much better! My focus is there and not only can I tell the difference working internally but physically I’m becoming that bishh again! I ain’t skinny and I ain’t 300 pounds ahah, but seriously having your peace is really worth everything to me now. And I’ve been able to be a better mother than what I was before, I’ve always been a good mom but when I was held down in that situation I felt I couldn’t reach my potential because he was always lingering. It’s not so much of being selfish, but in order to help others you definitely have to help yourself first and make sure your peace and energy is protected at all costs! And I’m still learning that but it’s really GETTING to me and I’m understanding completely that I need to love myself before I can let anyone else love me! You are such an inspiration! Can’t wait to purchase and learn from you ❤️ Peace and love queen