Baby Mama Drama?? OH HELL NAH!!
I always said I didn't want a man with kids because of the fact I didn't like my step mom, and because I saw how my mom and step mom interacted. It wasn't pleasant and clearly left an effect on us as children, even adults!
After I healed myself from the traumas from my parents and myself, I became self aware which caused me to see things differently. That's when I realized everything is based off of perspectives and understanding. I DO NOT condone drama whatsoever! That causes me to handle things a certain way so that I don't subject myself to it. In return, the people that are around me (especially the children!!!!) ... Meet us now in the "Safe Haven" sis, this is a much avoided, but needed conversation. It's time for us to grow up!
To be honest this hits home because I am the mother battling the hurt from my past. The process of leaving it in the past and healing from it is a challenge everyday. I go back and forth with myself about being hurt, bitter and nasty towards my child’s father and his new family. But in the same breath I dig deep down to be kind, peaceful, humble and open to the change for the sake of her. Im dealing with it the best I can. I fall short many times. Keep telling myself to smiling through it all. I work at it diligently because I don’t want her to see me down. I’m devastate with the decision I’ve made from start to finish. I’m here raising a child praying everyday she doesn’t grow up feeling broken, less than or empty. It’s a vicious cycle, it’s my story and many other children in the worlds reality and I feel immensely guilty for adding another child to the book.
Honestly that’s where I am right now my dude has a 2 year old and The other day he started telling him that I’m his step mom which I have no issue with at all I love him like he’s my own but his mom is very combative with his dad just over the phone I’ve only met her once and she was coming to our job to curse him out as much as I love them I’m not quite sure I want that type of drama in my life permanently that’s the only thing that turns me away from being “his wife “ I’m not with the drama I like my peace and when it’s the 3 of us everything’s great but when she comes around or calls things are tense even through the phone
My children have step mom and I love here to be honest I feel blessed to have a third parent to us and I even help out with her child no funny business with me and her man I just really love her at first it was hard till one day I was pray for people with my children and the asked to pray for her then said they love her and asked if I did plus I had a dream we’d be friend still didn’t believe but at that moment I knew I had to let go of my hate and hurt and now I’m happy I’m at peace
When I met my now husband he had a four year old son from a previous marriage. Things got rocky, while trying to establish stable grounding as it pertains to me and the first wife’s relationship. However now things are much better, respect is maintained and our children all get along famously. Personal childhood trauma, like you, affected my decision to be different in the way I approached this.
Thank you for this transparency and conversation.
I’m a single mother and my daughter’s father is now in a relationship and worried that I would be bitter moving forward. As long as she respects me as her mother and understand there are boundaries that only parents can cross, then whooooo the hell caressss. Live your life. My daughter needs 2 happy parents in order to prosper. Love her father because he loves our daughter. My daughter is only 1. Thankfully we figured it out so soon!
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